The Hagakure #67: Sunday Round-Up

Making friends with the inner critic, amplifying your voice as a leader, and prioritizing others' growth over your own comfort.

As I sit by the window at this Berlin café sipping the cappuccino you see below (now gone), it hit me that being a leadership coach is full of gifts.

One of them is how diverse of a client base I’m lucky to have. Looking at my calendar for last week, I spent quality time with folks from:

🇬🇧 United Kingdom
🇿🇦 South Africa
🇲🇹 Malta
🇩🇪 Germany
🇮🇳 India
🇬🇷 Greece
🇵🇱 Poland
🇪🇸 Spain
🇰🇪 Kenya

And if I look at the upcoming week, I add also these flags:

🇮🇷 Iran
🇵🇰 Pakistan
🇵🇹 Portugal
🇧🇷 Brazil
🇫🇷 France
🇺🇸 USA
🇮🇪 Ireland

What a privilege, and what a responsibility.

I’m beyond grateful for the trust my clients deposit in me, and for the opportunity to grow myself with them. And I don’t take any of this for granted. 🙏

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As a brief side note, odds are you’re aware of the raging debate around developer productivity stoked by the (now infamous) McKinsey article, Yes, you can measure software developer productivity.

I love that this is happening. I believe it exposes a core issue in the tech industry that we either don’t see or don’t want to see—and we certainly aren’t dealing with. Expect my honest attempt at a deep dive into that later this week here on the Hagakure.

Actual picture of the cappuccino I savored while putting together this post.

For a long time, my biggest enemy in writing has been my inner critic.

I could barely write over the noise it made.

I always ended up in the “procrastinating perfectionist” trap. I would delay getting on the hook until the last minute. Then I’d beat myself up for it, because I knew I could have put out something better if only…

If only... what?

Nothing. In hindsight, I was just doing the best I could with what I had.

If this resonates with you, a few things to consider:

👉 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗯𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁.

There are a ton of people out there who can’t wait to learn what you have to gift.

👉 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆.

In the wise words of prolific writer Stephen King: "When you write a first draft, you write it for yourself. When you rewrite it, you write it for everyone else."

👉 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗴𝗼 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴.

That doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes. It means you’re unlikely to hurt people with them.

👉 𝗕𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝗮𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

Being unique makes you insanely valuable, but it requires you to be first believer in yourself. If you don’t, why should anybody else?

👉 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗴𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗸𝗲𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗸.

And it’s never to be found inside your mind. Get out there, interact, engage, experiment, learn. There’s no more important work.

Oh, and by the way, in case you’re wondering my inner critic didn’t go anywhere. We just got on better terms. 😉

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Back when I served as a VP Engineering, I sent an email to my whole team every Friday morning. And if you lead people, I think you should, too.

It was my “Top of Mind” email. Today it would probably be a Loom video.

I wanted to drive clarity and create shared context, so everyone could make the best possible decisions in their work, every day of the week.

So, this email was designed to…

🎯 𝗥𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀.

Keep the team centered on what matters most by repeating often and in multiple ways what our focus is.

📊 𝗗𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀.

Where are we on our key initiatives? What’s going well and what’s not going so well? And what have we learned recently?

🔑 𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁.

What do I know that is helpful for the team to make their own decisions but otherwise inaccessible to them? (e.g. context from leadership team meetings)

👍 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲.

Recognize and reinforce examples of behaviors and initiatives we want our culture to be about.

🌐 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀.

Disseminate best-in-class external knowledge related to what we’re currently doing.

Every week, I would hit at least a few of these boxes. Rinse, and repeat.

Over to you:

• How do you communicate with your team on a regular basis?

• What’s your intention in doing so?

• And if you don’t… what’s keeping you?

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I see so many talented individuals operate at a fraction of their potential. There’s one thing holding them, and it’s probably not what you think.

How we work together and relate to each other has more influence in the outcomes than the absolute skill of each individual. Poor relationships are an insane source of friction and energy drain.

A team of extraordinary players stumbles without harmony, while a team of “average” players flourishes when united.

Yet, in my practice, I observe more and more teams and organizations where feedback avoidance is the norm.

So, what makes a difference?

• Saying what needs to be said—yet is not being said.

• Being radically candid—caring deeply and challenging directly.

• Acknowledging that giving feedback well is 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘬, but how it’s received 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵.

Remember: by not saying what deep down you 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 needs to be said, you’re denying someone else an opportunity to improve.

Are you really OK with prioritizing your own comfort over that?

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Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this post, please consider hitting the ❤️ button, subscribing for future issues on your inbox, and sharing it using the button below.

And for upcoming week, I have a challenge for you:

Make someone feel like a million bucks. ⭐️