The Hagakure #66: Writing to a Pain, Not a Persona
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ― Joseph Campbell
Everyone says you should get clear on who you are writing for. That you should “niche down” and be very specific.
I have struggled with this for years, and I haven’t yet sorted it out. Now I’m starting to realize why.
More than to a specific audience, I write because of a pain I have.
After years of working as a software engineer and later at all levels of engineering leadership in startups, I sadly reached the conclusion that things are awfully broken. Not everywhere. But in (too) many places.
It doesn’t sit well with me that what is supposed to be an exciting, collaborative, creative, learning experience so often turns into anxiety, depression, burnout, and all the rest of it.
It doesn’t sit well with me that thousands upon thousands of incredibly smart people are wasting away their potential doing work that doesn’t speak to them while in golden handcuffs and none the wiser.
It doesn’t sit well with me, as I realize how interconnected everything is, that we pretend that what happens at work stays at work. That it doesn’t affect and infect our families, our relationships, our long-term health, our planet.
In this tragedy of the commons, I don’t pretend to have all the answers. Not by a long shot. But I know everyone in it, myself included, is complicit (not to blame) in how why we got here. The VC, the founder, the executive, the manager, the engineer, the coach, the consultant, even the content creator. Most of us are stuck inside a paradigm of reductionism, of “optimizing a machine” in which people inevitably become cogs.
We must realize that businesses are nothing but complex systems of people, and that leaders must see themselves as architects of human systems. And, as Paul Batalden pointed out, “every system is perfectly designed to get the results it gets.”1
This system is producing a few winners (at a staggering human cost) and an insane amount of losers nobody talks about and has long forgotten. But we’re too busy doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Survivorship bias keeps us stuck. And the system benefits the few who keep it in place.
Could this really be it? Can’t we really do better?
That’s why I’m not sure who I’m writing to, and sometimes get a bit depressed about it all. So I write to everyone, and to no one. And I appreciate each person who resonates with what I share, and builds upon it. I appreciate each individual that has the soft heart and the strong back, the courage to speak truth to power in a kind, compassionate and intelligent way.
It’s the Hero’s Journey where we don’t feel like a hero at all. But we do it anyway, because we have no choice. We keep going, because it’s important.
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This phenomenal quote is often misattributed and in an earlier version of this post I made the same mistake. Thank you, Johanna Rothman, for pointing me to the correct source (and the story behind the frequent misattribution.) 🙂
I resonate with your pain very much. I've felt the same way myself, as someone who has also worked in the tech industry. It's hard to see so many talented people being exploited and burnt out, and it's even harder to feel like you're not making a difference.
Personally, I find your perspective very inspiring. The courage to speak truth to power. It's not easy to do, but it's essential. We need more people like you who are willing to stand up for what's right.
I also think you are making a difference. By writing about these issues, you're raising awareness and giving people a voice. You're also providing a space for people to connect with each other.
🙏🏾
I don't write for anyone; I have long ago given up trying to figure out the audience. I just write, with really no expectation of anyone reading it. As Derrida so wisely put it, once you have written, what follows is entirely left to the reader. The property is no longer yours to safeguard or worry about. His concept of deconstruction is such a brilliant idea. So just keep writing because there is nothing else that gives you similar pleasure except reading other people's well written words.